AUTHOR · EDUCATOR · SYSTEMIC COACH
Hi, I'm Leila.
Out of the question "What if Long Covid is the best thing that could have happened to me?" three books, a podcast, and a stance grew that I share with others today.
45
Years old
6
Years with ME/CFS
10k+
Followers
3
Books · 3 Languages
What I stand for
Self-efficacy and a positive way of relating to it. No, this is not about self-optimization, it’s the opposite. Wishes, dreams and goals matter, yet the way things are right now is also okay. Our worth is not tied to what we can produce. Even when all we can do is lie down and perhaps not even speak, we are wonderful, worthy, and unique.
Every day, even the hardest one, also holds something beautiful. Opening our eyes again to see it all, that is what I want to walk alongside you with.
If this illness has taught me one thing, it’s that no one understands us the way another affected person does. That’s why I share my path. Not as a solution, but as a reminder that you are not alone. I dedicate my work to the courage to believe in healing.
Self-efficacy and a positive way of relating to it.
This is not about perfection. Not about glossing things over or covering them with a smile. It’s about acceptance.
The way things are right now is also okay. Even when all we can do is lie down, we are worthy. Our worth is not tied to performance.
Every day, even the hardest one, also holds something beautiful. Opening our eyes again to see it, that is what I want to walk alongside you with.
No one understands us the way another affected person does. That’s why I share my path.
I dedicate my work to the courage to believe in healing.
I'm a graphic and web designer, systemic Life Trust coach, podcast host, illustrator, and have worked as a teacher, educator, and pedagogical aide with children on the autism spectrum. I write, design, typeset and publish my books myself. Adapted to the needs of people living with this illness.
Graphic & Web Designer · Systemic Coach · Educator · Illustrator · Podcast Host
I write, design, typeset and publish my books myself. Adapted to the needs of people living with this illness.
Who I am
I was born in December 1980 in Berlin. At 25 I emigrated to Spain, lived for 4.5 years in Andalusia in the province of Cádiz, and then moved to Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. Beautiful years, with dear friends. I studied illustration, was at or in the sea every day, and found my stillness and meditation on my board. The sea and surfing have taught me so much that today gives me strength and patience in living with this illness.
In 2018 I moved back to Berlin, and shortly afterwards my whole life changed dramatically, this time not by my own choosing. It is the greatest and hardest challenge yet, yet I want more than just to survive, I want to live. With this clear goal I tried many things and got to know myself anew. I have become stronger and more resilient, and I live my self-efficacy. In my podcast Tidal Faces I share my path, my thoughts and experiences, and in my books I show different ways so you can find your own.
Because we live with a severe neuroimmunological illness, often without help, guidance, or hope. That’s what I want to change.
Born December 1980 in Berlin. At 25 I emigrated to Spain. Every day at the sea. Surfing was my passion.
2018 back to Berlin. Shortly after, my life changed, this time not by my own choosing.
It’s the greatest challenge yet. Yet I want more than just to survive, I want to live.
Today I am stronger and more resilient. I live my self-efficacy.
In my podcast Tidal Faces I share my path. In my books I show different ways so you can find your own.
We live with a severe neuroimmunological illness. Often without help, guidance, or hope. That’s what I want to change.
TIMELINE
My journey
My life before
Athletic, spontaneous, lighthearted, always on the move. Surfing was my passion and my source of strength. I loved being with friends, going to festivals, living every moment fully. Yet I certainly wasn’t very mindful with myself.
In the middle
Bedbound, unaware and overwhelmed. Push-and-crash cycle. Free fall to care level 5. Uncertain, deeply traumatized. Until I began to accept what is and to learn what my body and nervous system need.
My life today
Strong, self-determined, reflective and at my own pace. I know my baseline, gently stretch my nervous system, and prioritize my needs. I am shaping my life anew, no easy process. Even recovery is a challenge.
Before ME/CFS My life beforeBefore
Athletic, spontaneous, lighthearted, always on the move. Surfing was my passion and my source of strength. I loved being with friends, going to festivals, living every moment fully. Yet I certainly wasn’t very mindful with myself.
Athletic, spontaneous, lighthearted, always on the move. Surfing was my passion. Every moment lived fully. Yet I certainly wasn’t very mindful with myself.
With ME/CFS In the middle
Bedbound, unaware and overwhelmed. Push-and-crash cycle. Free fall to care level 5. Uncertain, deeply traumatized. Until I began to accept what is and to learn what my body and nervous system need.
Push-and-crash cycle. Free fall to care level 5. Uncertain, deeply traumatized. Until I began to accept what is and to learn what my body and nervous system need.
TODAY My life todayNow
Strong, self-determined, reflective and at my own pace. I know my baseline, gently stretch my nervous system, and prioritize my needs. I am shaping my life anew, no easy process. Even recovery is a challenge.
Strong, self-determined, reflective. I know my baseline and prioritize my needs. I am shaping my life anew, no easy process. Even recovery is a challenge.
MY RECOVERY PATH
What truly helped me
Polyvagal theory and the vagus nerve
Understanding how my nervous system switches between safety and alarm. That there is a freeze mode, and how I can activate the parasympathetic through stimulation of the vagus nerve (e.g. with Sensate or Nurosym). That’s how my path toward recovery began.
Acceptance and letting go
Stop rowing against the illness. Accept what is. Find peace with all my limitations, because only then could I set out without fear. Before I climb the mountain, being okay with staying in the valley too. Sounds simple, yet it took years to grow into this process.
Baseline and walking practice
A deep understanding of my baseline, physical, cognitive and emotional. Movement wasn’t always the reason for a crash. Active recovery as balance and foundation for stability. Relearning effort, letting go of old experiences. It began with 5 minutes of sitting, followed by 2 hours of active recovery. It is a good path, yet it takes its time.
Routines and stability
Clear routines as anchors in everyday life. Gently stretching my nervous system so the comfort and safety zone widens again. Letting go of old fears, understanding and living the new reality. That’s how stability grows, on which I keep building and shape my new life consciously.
Polyvagal theory and the vagus nerve
Understanding how my nervous system switches between safety and alarm. That there is a freeze mode, and how I can activate the parasympathetic through stimulation of the vagus nerve (e.g. with Sensate or Nurosym). That’s how my path toward recovery began.
Understanding how my nervous system works. That through stimulation of the vagus nerve I can enter the regeneration mode (e.g. with Sensate or Nurosym). That’s how my path toward recovery began.
Acceptance and letting go
Stop rowing against the illness. Accept what is. Find peace with all my limitations, because only then could I set out without fear. Before I climb the mountain, being okay with staying in the valley too. Sounds simple, yet it took years to grow into this process.
No longer rowing against the illness, but accepting what is right now. Finding peace with all my limitations. Before I climb the mountain, being okay with staying in the valley too. Sounds simple, yet it took years to grow into this process.
Baseline and walking practice
A deep understanding of my baseline, physical, cognitive and emotional. Movement wasn’t always the reason for a crash. Active recovery as balance and foundation for stability. Relearning effort, letting go of old experiences. It began with 5 minutes of sitting, followed by 2 hours of active recovery. It is a good path, yet it takes its time.
A deep understanding of my baseline, physical, cognitive and emotional. Movement wasn’t always the reason for a crash. Active recovery as balance and foundation for stability. Understanding effort anew. It began with 5 minutes of sitting and 2 hours of active recovery as balance. It is a good path, yet it takes its time.
Routines and stability
Clear routines as anchors in everyday life. Gently stretching my nervous system so the comfort and safety zone widens again. Letting go of old fears, understanding and living the new reality. That’s how stability grows, on which I keep building and shape my new life consciously.
Clear routines as anchors in everyday life. Gently stretching my nervous system so the safety zone widens again. Letting go of old fears. That’s how stability grows, on which I keep building and shape my new life consciously.
